Greetings to the community. I'm looking for advice on a situation.

Before I met my wife, she was a heroin user. Based on her history and behavior of use, neither of us really categorized her as an "addict," but she was a user. She kicked it right before we met and stayed off it for years, promising it would never again be an issue (which I trusted).

However... She recently relapsed.

Owing to a number of factors, chief among them surviving cancer and (likely, though as yet un-diagnosed) RA, along with a number of other influences like family history and (probably) poor diet and exercise habits, she is in a great deal of chronic pain. We have spent years trying a great deal of medical (professional and otherwise) treatments to no avail. The pain was affecting everything; her mood, her ability to be productive, her ability to concentrate and achieve her goals, everything.

So, without my knowledge and (as was claimed) to her own shame, she started using again. Small but regular q

The book I’m not sick, I don’t need help by Xavier Armado came up quite a few times when I attended support groups. It’s apparently pretty helpful in working with a friend or family member with addiction that is denying treatment. I have not had the chance to read this; have any of you read this? What did you think? Were there other books you’d recommend?

Here is the Piped link for added anonymity.

I came across this video about the 5 Stages of Change, and what those stages usually look like. Dr. Prochaska relates some of the examples directly to addiction and mental health, but many of the concepts can also be applied to broader changes in your own or someone else's life.

I thought many of the points were pretty spot on, such as the myth that a person with addiction needs to hit a certain "rock bottom" to initiate a change in the addictive behavior. The lecture is through the lens of a healthcare provider but delivers the speech without a lot of medical jargon. Here are some notes I took while watching it:

Stages of Change

1. Pre-contemplation
2. Contemplation
3. Preparation
4. Action
5. Maintenance

Pre-contemplation

• lack of recognition
• resistant

Contemplation

• Person recognizes need for change but is a

The web link is from the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Service Administration (SAMHSA) and has some good discussions about addiction. The most helpful section for me was “Recovery-Oriented Systems and Services.” Most of the videos are around and hour long.

Here are Piped links to the YouTube videos, in case you want the option to view them with some anonymity.

https://piped.video/watch?v=CaIyaYAEu_c&amp%3Blist=54376afa-95d3-4508-b217-6de0bce9d794&amp%3Bindex=2

https://piped.video/watch?v=MGAyU7ncD4M&amp%3Blist=54376afa-95d3-4508-b217-6de0bce9d794&amp%3Bindex=3

https://piped.video/watch?v=RTbatWxWpCI&amp%3Blist=54376afa-95d3-4508-b217-6de0bce9d794&amp%3Bindex=4

https://piped.video/watch?v=JWxcbaVyeqM&amp%3Blist=54376afa-95d3-4508-b217-6de0bce9d794&amp%3Bindex=5

https://piped.video/watch?v=a2_rfx9QbtU&amp%3Blist=54376afa-95d3-4508-b217-6de0bce9d794&amp%3Bindex=6

I have mentioned it before, but the book Addict in the House has been one of the more helpful resources for how to approach a friend or family member with addiction. The link is a version of the main points. Here is an excerpt:

“When addiction enters your home, it can be very disorienting as questions flood your mind.

Should I say something to my loved one? Do we have an intervention? What is rehab, anyway?

If this sounds all too familiar, know you are not alone. These are the same questions everyone living with an addict must eventually answer.

And there are certain things to do—and not to do—if you think you are living with an addict.

1) Talk to your loved one—in a very specific way.

If you’ve lived with the effects of a loved one’s addiction for any amount of time, you are likely confused, scared, and possibly even angry. These are all normal emotions to feel when the person you once knew and loved is no longer himself, and those feelings often spill over into how you sp

I found their experiences very relatable. The tips the authors provide are many of those “easy said than done” options, but do provide specific examples on how they approached those situations with their family member’s addiction.

I think that is one of the hardest things with having a loved one with addiction. We want to help, but end up enabling. Learning the support while also maintaining boundaries is quite the balancing act.

The video is a Piped link for YouTube, so it won’t have ads or track information. The actual YouTube link is here: https://www.youtube.com/live/VAvAs0Uc5UU It is about 56 minutes long.

Cross post from [email protected]

Multiple countries included.

I am personally experiencing some pretty tough times with my family member making more empty promises and manipulation. I think one of the most difficult parts is when the person is in denial and defensive. If they don’t agree that reality is not their reality, it becomes next to impossible to talk and be around them. It’s like we’re speaking different languages. I guess what is getting me through the times denial right now is paying only attention to behavior, not the words being said.

And I have found a couple of friends that have dealt with something almost identical, and I cannot emphasize enough how much of a relief it is to have someone else in the loop. It feels wrong to talk about it in the open, because addiction seems to still be a fairly taboo subject. But there’s nothing to be ashamed of. To deny what is happening belittles the struggle everyone is facing. I recommend doing everything possible to find people to talk with about it. And not just about their struggle; find s

(It looks like the vLemmy instance is no longer working, so I recreated the community here. I posted this once before Lemmy.World was apparently fully connected to this Lemm.ee instance, so this is a copy)

Hi everyone, my name is loopy and I created this lemmy community to make a space for people to share and support each other through the challenges of having a friend or family member struggling with addiction. As the sidebar says, this is not to replace therapy; think of it like an online support group. I’ll get the ball rolling a little bit by sharing that my BIL has been struggling with addiction. First to opioids, then to his Adderall prescription. The mood swings are an understatement. I get glimpses of sobriety but then the cycles continue. It honestly gets pretty exhausting to keep trying to have empathy only to be let down again. My wife and my focus lately has been setting boundaries. He knows how to manipulate my wife, so I said that we all need to be present when deciding

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/396561

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(It looks like the vLemmy instance is no longer working, so I recreated the community here)

Hi everyone, my name is loopy and I created this lemmy community to make a space for people to share and support each other through the challenges of having a friend or family member struggling with addiction. As the sidebar says, this is not to replace therapy; think of it like an online support group. I’ll get the ball rolling a little bit by sharing that my BIL has been struggling with addiction. First to opioids, then to his Adderall prescription. The mood swings are an understatement. I get glimpses of sobriety but then the cycles continue. It honestly gets pretty exhausting to keep trying to have empathy only to be let down again.

My wife and my focus lately has been setting boundaries. He knows how to manipulate my wife, so I said that we all need to be present when deciding something (eg if he is staying at our house for the weekend). It feels uncomfortable for her, but it has been mi