cross-posted from: https://lemmygrad.ml/post/7551653

Body-wise, I was feeling weird when I had a sudden burst of energy and "heart flutters" and that may already be the answer to my question as to what was ailing me or what I felt physically "bad."

Thing is, I couldn't tell you otherwise what was bad and why my mood dropped when my energy rose.

It may be that, when I get energy, I feel angst or anguish over realizing the state of things as my mind becomes clear or perhaps I'm feeling my own body or lack of depersonalization for the first time (it's happened multiple times but you know what I mean).

I don't want to be unscientific so I thought I'd ask others here with the hopes that someone will have the valid answer (of course, I'm using Google or Bing so it's not like I'm just relying on the opinion of random people, though maybe the search results aren't that good either).

cross-posted from: https://lemmygrad.ml/post/7386224

Seriously, what the hell happened that time?

It was just a few days ago, but it was weird.

I had 4 magnesium supplements for stress and it... apparently made me sad? To the point of crying?

Ugh.

cross-posted from: https://lemmygrad.ml/post/7189472

I'm going to ask my psychiatrist for a med that treats trauma. I've been having these daily flashbacks since, I don't know, 2010? Time to take charge. Time to say that I'm worth it.

In addition, I will get a sleep apnea oral appliance so I can treat my sleep apnea without the damn CPAP machine that I can't get to work at all.

In addition, I'm going to see if I have a chance, or do have, AFib or Atrial Fibrillation. My heart acts funny.

I will get through this, even if the next few months see me self-destructing with the stuff I'm about to do soon enough.

(I'm going to attempt something, and if I'm not successful, or I was wrong about the situation, then I'll let it go. Forever.)

Sorry, just pumping myself up for the next few months, and giving myself a good kick in the ass to get myself out of this rut of grief.

Do you often feel exhausted at the end of the workday, even though you’re careful to get enough sleep? There could be a simple explanation, one that might surprise you. You might be overloaded with emotional labor. What’s more, your role as a company founder or business leader might make you feel responsible for the emotional well-being of everyone who works with you.

That intriguing insight comes from clinical psychologist Shannon Sauer-Zavala, Ph.D. In an insightful post at Psychology Today, she connects the dots between emotional overwork and exhaustion. She blames emotional labor for making people feel more tired than they should. What is emotional labor?

Definitions vary widely, but they all center on the work you do to ensure the emotional well-being of others. People perform emotional labor both in our workplaces and in our personal lives. This could include projecting positive emotions that you don’t feel. It could mean you’re the one to to make sure, for instance, that a val

i hate to add to the posts of mentally unwell users venting their thoughts and detailing their experiences, but i have nowhere else to turn and nobody in my life to talk in depth with. therapists are impossible to secure and the last one told me i’d benefit from an existential specialist but there isn’t one anywhere near me.

every day i wake up i wish i hadn’t. passive suicidal ideation is at an all-time high for me it seems, but i’ve used that phrasing before and they can’t all be the ultimate. however, it feels that strong to me. it’s a powerfully soul crushing sensation. i don’t want to be alive anymore. i want to die. i simply can’t cause it myself, unfortunately.

the things others often say to suicidal people don’t feel significant or relevant enough to keep me here. “think of your loved ones,” “think of the pain you’ll cause,” “think of those who will miss you,” “think of your pets,” etc. well.. i’ll be dead. what the fuck do i care? they’ll all die eventually too and leave s

It's been two months since I posted here about what I'm going through because of Gaza. Not much changed there, actually, it's worse.

In these two months, I was contacted by 5 more people and from initial 2 families, I got up to 12 of them. I am broke, but I don't regret one cent I gave them. I just regret the money that pesky merchants took from my friends for a commission. 30 fucking percent.

3 of those people HAVE NO ONE BUT ME to help them. I don't have social networks, I post here and I try to spam YouTube with their campaign links, but they're deleted.

I follow their financial status regularly and NO ONE DONATES to them.

Honestly, what the fuck?

I know that the situation for many of us is difficult. I know that people who don't have donate more than those who do have. But come on!!! No one is fucking helping those people!!

Oh, and did you know that Instagram influencers would collect money for Gazans and then ghost them? Stole their money and ghosted them??? WTF???

I'm so

As of now, I just got kicked out of another Discord community just because I was "Too Depressing" for them. Namely, that I often questioned how to make friends, and how to tell when someone is being nice to me, and casually expressed that, I had bad times identifying social cues due to a combination of Autism and a mother that failed to teach me social skills growing up.

I knew, well, people that were mostly acquaintances looking back, for about 2 years. I was barely close to them at all, since even though they were all neurodivergent, that was the only thing I had in common with them.

Unlike them, I wasn't a fan of Genshin Impact (In fact I HATED the game, especially since it was the cause of another online friend abandoning me in the beginning of this year), I wasn't a loud person, I wasn't extroverted. In fact, looking back, it felt more like I was tolerated by them rather than warmly embraced by them. And also, they weren't exactly respecting of my Asexual orientation, the way th

I know that everyone who follows this carnage in Gaza and wider is fucked up. I see it. So if you want to comfort me by saying I'm not alone, it won't work.

I can't take it anymore. I'm avoiding my shrink because she will gaslight me that I am doing this to myself alone. She'll tell me not to follow the news, not to interact with people online about this and such stuff. I never found the words to defend my support to Gaza to her. I won't stop watching. It's the least I can do. I don't want to turn my head and continue with my life. I don't understand how doesn't she get that. And I don't understand how people can not think about what's happening in Gaza.

Yeah, genocide is making me devastated and depressed and the only way I can feel better is if someone could end this carnage in the Middle East. But even after that, it's impossible to just forget and be happy like nothing happened. I will always carry this scar, I feel.

I also feel selfish for writing this. Because Gazans are the o

To start, I am not suicidal or having thoughts of suicide, more having constant thoughts of "I hate it here! What is there to be happy about?".

I noticed, ever since I was around 8, I always had this sense of.. sadness within me. Despite what my parents thought, I always felt sad on the inside, and I can never remember a single time when I felt legitimately happy, rather than being forced by my parents and two brothers to act happy just to fit in with social cues.

Again, ever since I was 8, up to today, at 24, I still don't know what it feels like to be happy. And any of the supposed positives in life are completely invisible to me, and any of the negatives are as visible as a bright light at night. I also often felt more "numb" on the inside than sad, although the former isn't a huge improvement.

Most days, I struggle to get out of bed and wake up on time, and fall asleep on time.

I could never relate to any of my peers, who seemed to be able to express happiness that I always fel

its super scary... i dont know how to deal with it.

i just need some laughs

Anyone else deal with this? i have a lot of trauma in my life and it resurfaced often enough to cause me problems.

Right now im just medicated, but prehaps i need a therapist

This post sounded better in my head now it just feels foggy and hard to type but I am giving it a try anyway, I just don't know how to feel anymore I feel alone, sad and I know I am ugly and my transition didnt even do anything. In general whats killing me is I cannot find a decent job, or even any job for that matter, and I just feel like my autism makes it so no one ever get's close to me and everyone secretly wants me gone.

I feel like my transition failed, I have been on HRT for 2 and a half year and only gotten very minor results, yes I have talked to my doctor but they really don't listen and I spent so much money on healthcare. I just look in the mirror and I see someone who is quite ugly and generally considered unattractive by all. My dysphoria is always really high and I very depressed about this.

As you likely know from my previous post I don't really have a great connection with my family, and they cannot support me emotionally once so ever.

I feel workwise I don't th

cross-posted from: https://sopuli.xyz/post/15860087

Stephen Fry is invited to Kyiv by First Lady Olena Zelenska to co-host a conference on mental health in time of war. He discusses the war with President Zelensky, and tells him jokes . He meets amputees and the recently bereaved , Azov brigade survivors , and artist Nikita Titov. He experiences an air raid for the first time while a stint at standup makes him realise just how important humour has become to survive the war.

At the Babyn Yar memorial to the holocaust he considers Ukraine's bloody history.

A very touching look into ukraines problems with mental health during wartime.

I just feel like everything has hit rock bottom and it's my fault. My entire life sucked and I guess I just want to tell someone since I got nothing to loose anymore. My life begins with abuse, my first memory was my dad beating on my mom, soon enough my next memory was my mom moving out, I don't remember much between that but I never could of guessed he would end up winning custody, I spent the next 12 year of my life being yelled and screamed at, and hit me. I knew he loved me in some way and still does help me out but he abused me. Growing up, I never had many friends I was always treated as the weird kid and my socialization skills would suffer as I had no real sense of boundaries. When I was 14 I found out I was transgender and sudeenly for the first time in my life somethings about why I hated my body made sense, but unfortunately I would go onto the suffer many more years due to being unable to start hrt without my dads involvement. When I turned 18 I moved in with my mom, this

I’ve been feeling suicidal lately but I legit can’t tell anyone in my life, I have many reasons why, firstly im transgender, and while I’m on hrt i still look very unattractive and no where near where I want to look, this has unfortunately resulted in me not getting a ton of affection or luck in dating and it sucks. I feel really lonely. Im currently living with some friends that I love dearly but I know the love is one way. They are my friends but they are closer to each other than me, im at that point still where it would be highly inappropriate to talk about any of my problems with them. Even if they had a sinking feeling i was gonna do something they wouldn’t stop me i don’t think I don’t mean this in a rude way it’s legitimately no one’s job to stop me. My financial situation is suffering. Im about 2.6k in debt and while that isn’t a lot for some, I don’t have a job. I’ve applied to literal a 100 jobs all of them dont call back, or I got declined. The debt grows every month since

cross-posted from: https://hexbear.net/post/1852371

I ended up opening up to ten books and reading them for a few days (going one by one by one and then back again, trying to repeat the process).

Then asked myself "What am I doing?"

I was trying to be productive now that I don't have a job, but I realized that I'm almost done with university and have an internship now; I'm already focused on those two things and was just trying to make up for "free time." I mean, what the hell... I didn't have to make myself "more productive" but here I am.

I also decided to stop another activity of mine that I was practicing 'cause, again, I felt I needed to do it rather than wanting to do it.

A YouTube video that inspired me was here, btw. But it wasn't the only inspiration. Just a creeping realization among other things.

In the end, I got overwhelmed and realized I didn't want to do... any of these things. There were o

This is a different take that might not fit everyone, but this game is about spreading positivity to others without any pressure. You write and receive supportive letters and make someone else feel a bit better or smile.

Kind Words 2 is now in beta and you can join the playtest for free on Steam. I'll paste the game description here because I think it says it all:

"Kind Words 2 is a place to be yourself without worrying about fitting in. It's a social space with no followers, no likes, no subscribing.

These are real people making each other feel seen, heard and less alone."

Maybe one of you wants to give it a shot. Be safe and healthy, especially in the upcoming days.

What do you think about Family Constellation and what are your experiences?

Permanently deleted