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memes @lemmy.world

2mo ago

Once this blade has been drawn, it must taste cardboard.

Non-Political Memes @lemmy.ml

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Easily opened for sure, but cleanly? I bet not. The knife will be clean and smooth, and satisfying. The cardboard will never see it coming.
- Less effort, too
- Lol ... as a kid one of my first jobs was working at a grocery store. I learned early on from older people at the same job how to separate the tape and peel it off as fast as possible. If the box had more than one strip of tape, you just used the pointed edge of anything to snap the tape ..... a pencil,a pen, a nail, a screw, a clipboard, sometimes just even a fingernail.
  As soon as you remove the tape, you cleanly get at everything inside without damaging anything.
  I once watched a friend of mine at the same job saying that he knew better and always used an exacto knife. After he ruined several boxes of merchandise, they took away his knife.
  
  This depends entirely on the type of tape it is. There's plenty of ripstop tech in packing tapes now and adhesives that are stronger than the boxes they're bound to, both of which make a mess if you try to tear in a straight line.
  
  How stupid do you have to be to damage the contents of a box when opening it with a knife? Was he just jamming it in anywhere?
  
  I work with frozen food boxes and on some of them you can just give few good smacks along the top and half of the tape will just unstick. Then just give a good pull to one of the halfs and you are in.
  To break down the box, just flip it on the side and punch, usually that is enough to get one end of the tape unstuck and you can pull it off.
  No tools needed at all
- ❗️

Are you callin' me out, old man???
Anyway, it's rarely the cardboard that's a hassle. It's the damn glued shut bubble mailers, the boxes that are completely shrink wrapped, or have those damn plastic straps around them, or plasic clamshell packaging.
All of those get the chop. The latter often with extreme prejudice.
- I almost amputated the tip of my thumb the other day trying to open one of those goddamn clamshells and I was just using scissors. Fuck whoever invented them.
  
  Fuck whoever invented them indeed.
  These are designed for the retailer's convenience, not yours. Brick-and-mortar retailers love clamshell packaging because it is designed to be both theft and return resistant. It's literally impossible to open without destroying, so retailers can always point to their "returned goods must be in original packaging condition" clause (rarely enforced, but always there) if they feel like denying a return for whatever spurious reason. And then, the packaging can be made unnecessarily bulky (albeit usually rather flat) which makes it tough to pocket, shoplifting sensor tags are often embedded in it, and opening it in the store to remove the product is pretty damn difficult.
  
  Word of advice get a non folding knife with some girth so not a kitchen knife, Ka-bar or a M3 replica are the best in my experience. Then just stab and pull, the plastic will give and you can use inward leverage on the harder outer plastic.
- I used to work in a returns department. We joked that our customers had stock in the tape companies. They would put stuff in a bubble mailer and then run tape around it 20 times, covering every square inch and tight as hell. It was fucking awful.

No I did not watch 100 hours of EDC videos to find the perfect multitool with a selected high quality components and dozens of functions to just let it sit in my drawer or pocket.
I did all this in fact to use the damn thing!!! Sometimes even more than once a week!
- And, which ones would you recommend?
  
  For always fitting in your pocket without being obtrusive, a Victorinox Minichamp Alox with a pocket clip.
  
  I've carried a Leatherman Skeletool for about a decade now and I love it. It doesn't have as many tools as a lot of mulitools do but it has the main ones I need and is well designed.
  
  I own multiple Victorinox pocket knifes, mostly Tinker.
  My current EDC multitool is a Nextool BlackKnight. Its a budget option I bought to help with some more serious stuff in my current DIY projects, so I can abuse it without thinking about the cost. It has a great blade and very strong scissors, super happy with it.
  On top of that I love retro knives, my latest one is a traditional Hungarian handmade shepards knife, similar to the ones here.

If your blade tastes cardboard, you need to study more. You should be quickly and cleanly gliding through tape, between the edges of that pulpy/corrugated paper that grips like molasses.
- I just use it to threaten other people into opening stuff for me. Way less work for me.

Don't call me out, bro. I know Victorinox Kenjutsu.

You gotta have generational skills and 10000 hours of training to not scratch the content of said box.
- Or a boxcutter that won't go but so deep. Good ones even have a guide to let you cut around the edges in second for displaying purposes.
  
  But where is the honor in that!? /s
  
  Or just start the cut in the long direction and slip the knife between the top and bottom flaps for the sides. Assuming whoever taped it didn't add more tape perpendicular to the main length, though even then you just need to start a cut for each of them. Tip just needs to barely pierce it.

While you were busy partying, I studied the blade

On the flip side, I always feel like a real poser when I fail to open a box that looked easily openable with my hands so better safe than sorry.

I'm that guy

When you carry a hammer, everything is a nail.

I use my keys

I would never ruin the buff on my benchmark by cutting a box!

I laugh . For years I always had crap knives and i use them every day for work and on a farm. Reluctantly baught a TOPS fixed blade , didn't break the bank but it is a solid utilitarian knife (100% us made) and I can't believe how well it holds an edge. I have been using it daily and it replaced my razor knife for most jobs.
Cardboard doesn't stand a chance

Behold: the Mini-Zatoichi

recently I have been restricted from knives for.. reasons, but tearing apart cardboard boxes like that one edgy warewolf PNG is pretty fun

I can't. The left over tape is too much for me to take.

...yeah I carry a balisong for boxes

Did anybody else ever watch Cutlery Corner with Tom O'Dell? It'd be on at like 2 AM. It's the only QVC-style shopping channel I ever voluntarily watched. A fair bit.

on the flip side, i tear open boxes manually because I'm too lazy to go get the scissors/knife
- What do you mean "go get?" Just pull it from your pocket.
  I mean, everyone's got a knife... Right?
  
  not since stares blankly ahead the incident

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