is walking away the best way to deal with a work clique?
I've seen several posts of people asking for advice on situations like this with so many answers suggesting OP to fight back, document and contact the union, but this seems too much work for an unconvincing result, because there is no way a manager is going to fire an employee or a clique for a "he claims she claims" situation.
Manager, employer, even the union, will listen to you, play theatrics and change nothing hoping you forget.
Walking away, while making you feel like a loser, seems to be the sane choice long term. Cliques are gonna clique.
Maybe you can think of a better way?
just pointing out how you post to rant pal.
and yet you fail to name any of the faults you claim I have. I commend you for your insightful, based post. Keep it up.
I’m not a licensed therapist
no shit on that one.
the current job shows me my own limitations, which are more with my colleagues than with the job itself.
but ain't this not one of your limitations, but theirs? This sentence makes it look like your coworkers slow you down.
could you write what your limitations with your coworkers look like? This is to me a very abstract concept.
And I am extra vigilant, take responsibility for the safety of those around me at all times.
could you write an example of this? I don't quite get it.
Say I try to apply this to nursing, it would mean I start checking if my coworkers do their job up to standard, which would be ridiculous, extremely taxing and not my job. Or am I understanding this the wrong way?
I just want to do MY job, not be responsible for other's lack of structure and laziness.
Good luck friend.
thanks for that
and which one are those?
How do I stop having expectations at the workplace?
on my last thread somebody wrote that unspoken expectations are premeditated resentments.
I'm guilty of this, I'm a nurse: after changing units an expectation was that the new one would be one where the physical workload would be evenly distributed. Another expectation and a promise from management was that my new unit would assign a nurse I'd shadow during my first days to get a grip of the unit. The third expectation was that I could do my job and use my downtime to learn.
None of these things are happening.
How do I stop having expectations?
ETA: A problem I see with this approach is: if every job turns out to be shit like this, why even bother? My new attitude should be go to work, work the least possible, fake it, play theatrics to do as little as possible, go home, get paid. No expectations = no disappointments.
But then, why even advance to ICU-nursing, get certifications or study medicine?
Right, given that you answered genuinely and constructively I’m answering you.
This stuff being the first thing that comes to your mind when you start talking about this coworker I think tells us more about you than it does about the coworker.
yes, it tells you I mean she is unfit to do this job.
I see a nurse who to me is incapable of doing this job because, as said, she won’t pick up any tray or serve food and beverages, and I don’t want to work with a person like this because it means I have to be the one serving her patients as well as mine and as said this unit is chronically understaffed. It’s very frustrating being the one moving patients and delivering food trays and beverages while she sits in front of a computer. This is not what I signed up for.
I don’t know how future me nearing retirement is going to be, but it’s clear I have to quit bedside or study something else, precisely not to become this coworker because as you said, nursing is hard as f*ck on the body.
You write “She deserves some credit, some respect, and some empathy – you’re going to be there too, someday.” You speak like somebody who has the luxury of not having to deal with the consequences of a coworker who gives you the physically harder tasks while she, as said, sits. You understands it’s a bit difficult for me to agree with you, right? Options for her? retire or move to a desk position, both perfectly legitimate options, but don’t pretend to qualify for a job she physically cannot do anymore. Hell, even I cannot sometimes.
OTOH this is not as much her fault as management’s and society’s at large: If we had 3 RN instead of 2, we possibly wouldn’t have this problem, reason why the best I can do might be keep looking for another position, quit this one ASAP and think about studying to get away from nursing. No wonder nobody wants to be a nurse with this job conditions: just today 6 ICU RNs working quit, if you believe one of my coworkers. This ship is sinking.
Happy downvoting I guess.
I don’t know what to do with this coworker.
This is nursing, my 7th day of employment at a new unit. Coworker is in her early 60s on the fatter and smaller side, walks slowly, bouncing her whole body to left and right, is slow giving report, even though she has less patients than me and feels entitled not to deliver and pick up trays or drinks to patients, the whole 24 of them, looking for stuff to do at the computer when the time comes, conveniently sitting, while the rest of us do her effing job. Last time we had shift together I invited her to work with us, which she ignored.
I dread the day I have a shift alone with her with no helper. This unit seems to be perpetually understaffed: Normal seems to be 2 RN for the whole unit when there should be 3. If we’re lucky, we get a helper (not a RN).
On one hand I feel I should tolerate it because she is almost a senior and apparently is difficult for her to walk.
But this feelings of compassion disappear when I see her pretending to be busy while I’m moving patients, delivering t
I got one “nurse” who was proactive and was an asset to my team, but they got pushed out since they didn’t play the game the way other “nurses” did.
and this exactly is why I left my old unit. A doctor like you is the one who wrote me the recommendation letter.
exactly. Nurses there are proud of not thinking critically.
Are you being considerate of the doctors’ time and attention?
well, he came into the unit, I introduced myself and I asked him what I described.
A person in a hurry keeps his answers short and doesn't proactively explain in detail what's important when working with a PCA device at that unit, how to check the catheter wound and how to check that the patient's legs are not completely numb. To me, he saw somebody new wanting to learn and engaged. He even showed me how to refill the PCA.
I always ask if I may ask a question, giving them the chance to tell me if they're busy. If they don't want to answer the question, I leave them alone.
unsure. The doctor that did most of the talking didn't complain and had an ability to work and explain at the same time, something I couldn't do.
with other doctors I introduced myself and got to talk about studying medicine and clinical chemistry, but not for long.
At my old unit I had problems with nurses, not with doctors. Doctors are not the reason I left that unit, but nurses.
what's the best strategy to follow with a new boss who wants me dumbed down?
I couldn't come with a better title.
As previously explained, I changes wards, a doctor working for more than 35 years at my old unit wrote me an excellent recommendation letter and I went my merry way to my new ward, hoping to find something new.
I introduced myself to nurses and some doctors there. Because the nurses were yelling and punching tables, something I'd never seen from nurses, I started a conversation with the doctors about what abbreviations they use there (completely foreign to me), if they allow their nurses to take blood samples or arterial and venous blood gas probes, to decide if a patient needs blood cultures, to do an EKG without consulting a doctor first, what emergencies they have there...
I had lucky with one of the doctors who answered all my questions.
The next day, my new boss comes to me saying people complained about me talking to the doctors, accused me of playing being a doctor.
I asked if the doctor who answered my questions, Schimdt, complained. My
I'm looking for a no frills, physical key EV. Am I looking for something that no longer exists?
cross-posted from: https://linux.community/post/2362831
I don't know how extended this is, but apparently there are car makers selling cars with no keys. Instead you download a proprietary app and use it to access your car.
I like being practical and talking to a car to turn the volume up or down, to open the door or to turn the temperature higher are things I don't need nor want. Give me mechanical levers, reachable stalks and no proprietary bloatware. I don't need a movie theater on wheels.
Imagine an early 2000s car running on an electric motor. That's what I want.
I'm looking for a no frills, physical key EV. Am I looking for something that no longer exists?
I don't know how extended this is, but apparently there are car makers selling cars with no keys. Instead you download a proprietary app and use it to access your car.
I like being practical and talking to a car to turn the volume up or down, to open the door or to turn the temperature higher are things I don't need nor want. Give me mechanical levers, reachable stalks and no proprietary bloatware. I don't need a movie theater on wheels.
Imagine an early 2000s car running on an electric motor. That's what I want.
how is it to work everyday but Wednesdays and Thursdays?
cross-posted from: https://linux.community/post/2326733
as a new job "perk" at a hospital I get to choose what days I work: because I get differential if I work weekends, I wrote I want to work everyday but Wednesdays and Thursdays.
Now I wonder if I should have chosen Mondays and Fridays. On Mondays people act all stressed out (beginning of the week) and on Fridays they're also insufferable (they all want to go home ASAP)
I've never inverted my weekend like this so if you ever worked like I'm about to, how was it? Any drawbacks?
how is it to work everyday but Wednesdays and Thursdays?
as a new job "perk" at a hospital I get to choose what days I work: because I get differential if I work weekends, I wrote I want to work everyday but Wednesdays and Thursdays.
Now I wonder if I should have chosen Mondays and Fridays. On Mondays people act all stressed out (beginning of the week) and on Fridays they're also insufferable (they all want to go home ASAP)
I've never inverted my weekend like this so if you ever worked like I'm about to, how was it? Any drawbacks?
would you use downtime at a new workplace to learn? (nursing)
A conversation with a senior physician triggered this question. He's been 35 years on the job and recently wrote me a letter of recommendation.
I'm changing wards due to drama and a manager who only wants gossip, dumbed down nurses at her unit.
This is a physician I've only talked to like 5 times in the 18 months I've been working at my old ward, somebody every other nurse at the unit told me to leave alone, because he's a senior physician (yes, that was the reason).
My former manager put a bare C on my performance review, something I didn't sign, so I asked this doctor to write a short text numbering my duties and what I can do to show my new ward but he wrote a full fledged letter of recommendation instead.
What the doctor told me while signing it: you're good at informing patients and take the extra step sensing what analysis they need, I've never had a nurse with so much positive feedback from so many patients, you're never gonna be a good fit here because the manager is a gos
if you watch the pitt, what do you make of Dr. Trinity Santos?
I don't understand why a smart person acts so condescending to anyone she perceives to be inferior to her while at the same time needing so much attention from a preceptor she apparently considers to be over her (the doctor she accidentally stabbed on the foot).
if you work at a gynecology ward, is gossip there way worse than at other wards?
I've been offered a position as a nurse at a GYN ward and I don't know if I should take it:
New ward, a chance to learn new things.
But also potential for drama way worse than everything I've experienced so far.
Last so 'female' unit I worked at was obstetrics at another hospital and it was like being on a show about mean girls: territorial, emotional, gossipy, interrupting report to gossip, ignoring report completely, playing favorites, rules for me but not for thee... not worth it.
what should I do?
what works for you to learn large numbers of technical / medicinal jargon?
cross-posted from: https://linux.community/post/2267705
I'm a nurse thinking about expanding my job options and knowledge, maybe studying something. I don't want to work bedside till I'm old enough to cash in my 401k because then I'll have a broken back and I don't want to become one of those old angry nurses constantly on edge because she's angry at life.
To me, the way to achieve this is to learn a lot of things systematically: medicines (not the brand names, but the active components, because doctors where I work use components extensively), diagnoses that are often abbreviated, right anatomical names for bones, muscles and blood vessels..., right ranges for arterial and venous blood gas parameters and clinical chemistry...
It's tedious and repetitive and I don't want to take any drugs to study better, but I believe it fits me because I was always an introverted bookworm.
Is there any better way to learn this than the way I just described? It means 3 hours of read
what works for you to learn large numbers of technical / medicinal jargon?
I'm a nurse thinking about expanding my job options and knowledge, maybe studying something. I don't want to work bedside till I'm old enough to cash in my 401k because then I'll have a broken back and I don't want to become one of those old angry nurses constantly on edge because she's angry at life.
To me, the way to achieve this is to learn a lot of things systematically: medicines (not the brand names, but the active components, because doctors where I work use components extensively), diagnoses that are often abbreviated, right anatomical names for bones, muscles and blood vessels..., right ranges for arterial and venous blood gas parameters and clinical chemistry...
It's tedious and repetitive and I don't want to take any drugs to study better, but I believe it fits me because I was always an introverted bookworm.
Is there any better way to learn this than the way I just described? It means 3 hours of reading and repeating concepts and ranges after my shift.
Since you just said “ok” without explanation or complaint, and then hung up, thats very matter of fact, straight to the point, and lacks the more emotional response most neurotypical people would have.
because I don't want drama and when I work I get, as you put it, straight to the point. Why wasting words and time? What do I achieve if I yell and insult back? I become a moron yelling to another moron.
I’ve seen people walked out for less andI work in a factory.
now I'm curious. Would you tell us about it?
The way you responded was more indicative of being autistic to an extent.
would you please elaborate? What gives me away?
me: Hi, I'm A and tomorrow I'll be working with you. Can you tell me how many patients do you have today at the unit?
her: what for? (she sounded exasperated).
me: I want to know how much I have to work.
her: are you stupid? (aggressively)
me: I beg your pardon?
her: are you stupid? [insert rant here she started I didn't listen to because when people yell at me I disconnect and if she already made up her mind not to answer me, why bother? Plus, how many of you can have a conversation with somebody yelling at you?]
me: fine [I hung up]
work related: is this something only an autistic would ask?
on one of my lasts posts, most of the people that answered agreed with the idea I'm on the spectrum. I don't know. I don't see anything wrong being myself.
I'd just like some serious answers from neurotypicals explaining to me why my question triggered my coworker so much:
Manager called me to ask if I can take an extra shift at a different unit because they're short staffed due to illness. I agreed.
Because that unit sometimes overfills and nurses there have to take care of more patients than the ratio agreed with the union I called the unit to ask how many patients they do have today, to have an idea if my shift tomorrow is going to be an easy or a difficult one.
The coworker started yelling and calling me an idiot and using some other choice words, so I said "ok" and hung up.
I didn't yell at her, I simply asked the question in a neutral tone, and I still don't get the animosity.
20 minutes later the same person calls to inform she called our manager and tomorrow I don't have
latest uad-ng from github on debian 12.9, several questions (?)
debian 12.9
I downloaded the .tar.gz file from github, extracted, opened a terminal, typed ./uad-ng-linux and accessed the application.
If I want to delete applications I need to review my selection, but from this window (review your selection) for whatever reason I cannot scroll down and cannot see options cancel and apply.
The whole application is so dark I cannot see the scrolling bar to the right. I only know it's there thanks to youtube.
Is it normal that the application reacts so slow? machine is a 2016 i7-7500U CPU @ 2.70GHz.
Have I downloaded the false tar.gz? This is debian.
Terminal output after executing the application from the terminal:
[/home/runner/.cargo/registry/src/index.crates.io-6f17d22bba15001f/wgpu-hal-0.19.4/src/vulkan/instance.rs:291] Unable to find extension: VK_EXT_swapchain_colorspace
END
`[/home/runner/.cargo/registry/src/index.crates.io-6f17d22bba15001
Permanently Deleted
Permanently Deleted
Job related: Am I being stupid?
I'm a nurse. I recently wrote about how I've discovered this job can be enjoyable, provided ratios are respected, I don't work with gossips, micromanagers and drama queens. I also like working with doctors that explain to me how things work and as a novelty, I've started reading on my free time about diagnoses, procedures and medicines.
Option A: go to my new unit and do the same.
Option B: patient transporter. I'd earn the same, I wouldn't have any boss over me telling me what to do except if I lazy around and I wouldn't have to run as I sometimes do as a nurse. No drama of any kind (I'd be alone most of the time), ample opportunities to sit and read, drink coffee or do nothing while waiting for my next assignment, other opportunities to learn while watching procedures being done to patients.
Yes. It really is this relaxed. I shadowed already.
My old self always though a job is a job and I should aim for maximum income doing the less amount of job I can. I'm also an introvert and
FYI, the medical community is one of the worst from the popularity contest perspective.
could you write examples of is worse here than in other industries? Are some units worse than others? Some regions worse than others?
promoting team cohesion and performance is one of our primary responsibilities, as is stepping up and leading when necessary.
are you a nurse or doctor working in a hospital?
I don't agree with your last part: it's not my fault that a unit is controlled by lazy gossips and the manager does nothing to make a more welcoming workplace for the quiet, working ones because she either is too coward to confront the lazy bullies or enjoys the attention or believes she is not going to find better employees. I do not work with people like that anymore, nor do I socialize with these kind of people, neither it's my job to promote performance and my paycheck sure reflects that. That's a manager's job.
I take this job as seriously as my coworkers. If they go smoking for an hour and let me alone to take care of the whole unit your model fails. If they spend their first 90 minutes consciously not working but gossiping and I'm the only one checking vitals and charting your model fails. If the popular and lazy ones control the narrative and paint me as the uncooperative nurse while I work and they do nothing and the manager believes them over me your model also fails. To lead up I need to see that my coworkers know their shit and that they actually do that, something I hope to find at my new unit.
This post might sound a bit abrasive, not my intention.
do managers value if you're an engaged employee even if you had/have a bad reputation?
I changed workplaces within my hospital to a similar unit. I also tried applying to other units to see what's there but got rejected.
I quit my old unit because I didn't feel supported or respected by management there, but doctors and half of the nurses are people I can work with and are actually people that helped me become a better nurse. I'm going to miss working with most of them. I'm ready to work with them again.
Managers speak with each other, even if they publicly hate each other and 6 months ago I wasn't as good as I am today, something reflected in their internal memos. I'm on the introvert side and I'm quite sure I'm on the spectrum. I write this because a workplace is also a popularity contest and my old manager was an extrovert who always thought I didn't talk to her to spite her (I didn't talk to her because I wanted to work and she was a perpetual, boring nuisance). People forgive you if you're likable and for this manager I was not. Her favorites always got away doing
if OP isn’t masking then neurotypicals will likely see OP as rude, cold, or robotic.
assuming that your post is in good faith, do you understand how tiring and ludicrous it is to pretend something you are not?
Should we advice gays to pretend not being gay?
It's not my fault some of my coworkers stopped growing up immediately after leaving high school. I just want to work and go home.
is this something you can say to a potential new manager? about giving report in a hospital when your shift ends
I've got a new job as a nurse but I'm still comparing positions, maybe something better comes along.
What I want to say to any of my potential new managers:
one of the reasons I left my old unit is how colleagues give report there: some give report about patients that are no longer there. I just don't get it. Patient is gone, it's not our problem anymore. Who cares where he is now? Give report about the patients I have to provide care to!
Some interrupt report to talk about what they did on the weekend or if the coworker only works 2 times per month, they give report about the 2 weeks they spent not working. It baffles me that they feel offended if I remind them they have to give report and can talk about their private lives when they're done. A report that should last 10 minutes lasts 40. It's tiring and I don't care about their lives.
Others, after giving report, remain in the room to loudly gossip about god knows what in the room... while another nurse tries doing her job
you are the democratically elected leader of a liberal democratic country which so far has had a good relationship with the US, how do you and your country survive 4 years of trump?
countries I have in mind are most of the EU, east Asian and south American multiparty democracies, our neighbors Canada and Mexico.
As I see it, these countries share with the US more than with other countries, like African, central Asian or south Asian countries, where liberal democracy and its practice only exists on paper. Up to now, we shared common values like the rule of law, free markets, freedom of the press, political liberalism, atlanticism for our security, our trust in science, institutions and facts... The US was an ally, an indispensable one you might add, even a benign one in some circles.
Now this ally has turned to a bully in an incredibly short period of time: in less than a week trump has started bullying Denmark so they sell Greenland to the US, threatened about taking the Panama channel back, also threatened most of America's trade partners with tariffs if they don't do what he wants, pausing aid to Ukraine, in effect condemning that country to be absorbed by Rus
if you work night shifts, do you have a life? Are you healthy?
I'm a nurse and I don't do night shifts. The few times I did it I earned a 150% differential but it's not worth the money: I'd go back home and have to use noise cancelling headphones to sleep, 'cause people are loud, I'd wake up rested at 04:00 pm, but completely destroying my circadian rhythm. I'd need a whole day or 2 to recover my regular rhythm because otherwise I'd be a zombie.
I hear my coworkers who do night shift complaining about this same issue, but they still pick up night shifts, which I don't understand.
To me it was impossible to have something akin to a life while working night shift, but I've met some people that only do night shifts: the housewife that only works 4 nights shifts per month, the single mother or young wife or husband who work 14 night shifts per month and have the next 2 weeks for him/herself...
I don't understand why they do it. It's extremely taxing and not worth it imho.
But if you do, how do you have a life? And how do you keep yourself healthy?