The Balrog could only find a house that was dilapidated and infested with dwarves. When he worked hard to clear them out it got infested with goblins. Then he got murdered in his own house by a literal weed smoking angel. I cry every time.

Do NOT check her live music event out.

So you’re a termite?
“…uhhh totally.”
What do we like to eat?
“Stuff and wood and junk.”
Okay good enough.

When they brought Jesus back I rolled my eyes and said, “Just like Gandalf eh?”

#5 sleeping dicks out like Winnie the Pooh.

Let me tell ye lads, those Dutch have access to cheese that we could only dream of.

(In heavenly elvish voices)

Shawty had them Apple Bottom jeans (jeans) Boots with the fur (with the fur) The whole club was lookin' at her She hit the floor (she hit the floor), next thing you know Shawty got low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low

This is what we in the jewelry industry refer to as a “big oof.”

Looks like it’s gonna be one awesome feast!

It’s a lot like a battle where at first you have controlled volley fire, but later the panicked lieutenant shouts out to fire at will.

I was there me lads, from the depths she rose, aye. A holographic Charizard in all its glory.

Who gets little Vance?

Also tshirts that said, “Don’t mess with Mesopotamia”

Was homoemo before homoerectus?

Uhhhh we were just…training?

No one ever planned for the mecha sea slugs, and the war shall not end in our lifetime.

Sorry if this triggers “freedom lovers” but the CROWN was given by GOD to the KING.

/s just in case

Come see Rome…before Rome sees you.

When people think of banking, they want to see people dressed as Skavin…like our new hire here! You know what? He’s promoted.

I dream of a day where you’d have some kind of carriage architecture where only carriages can take you places and businesses are far apart.