People love their iPhone vs Android arguments. I admit I used to revel in it back when smartphones were new and every update was massive. I'll even admit I'm still riding the high of winning one of these arguments in a bar in 2010 by using my Moto Droid's camera flash as a flashlight.
But there's only so many ways to joke about Apple's feature lag. There's only so many ways to correct or explain things like green text bubbles, worse picture quality in some apps, or that the cheapest android is not going to be able to compare to the Apple flagship, yadda yadda yadda.
Now when someone tries to drag me into one of these conversations my whole mind just glazes over. I have a pocket computer I can do near anything with, and you have a fashion accessory. We are not the same. If you like the fashion accessory then that's fine with me, but if you have to put down my choices in order to justify your own then you're going to have a bad time. I had to maintain a work iPhone and help others with theirs for many years so I am very, extremely, intimately familiar with its limitations, just as you are about to be.