That will be next? Really? It will be a crime to not have children?

Remember, America. YOU CHOSE THIS.

Well DUH! They need that money to chase down Americans who are mean to Dear Leader on the internetz!

In all fairness, million-plus-dollar homes will do bupkes for homelessness.

And they'll bend the knee. Throw some scapegoat under the bus, because this is the new Fascist America.

You chose this, America. Now no one will save us.

Your concern is noted and will be dealt with in all appropriate channels.

The Face Eating Leopards are having a free-for-all face BBQ!

There are a lot of missing people underwater in their cars, in the South and Midwest.

Republicans have nothing but contempt for the poorly educated. And they're creating more of them, because Conservatism depends on ignorant people.

With a face much enjoyed by face munching spotted kittycats.

"Please spank me again, Daddy Donald! I've been very disloyal to my employer and not Jesusy enough!"

Elmo: "Oops!"

Send those poor and middle class kids to work, as Jesus intended.

This is shaping up to be Holocaust 2.0.

And thanks to Patriotic Jesusy Murkan Small Government, soon you won't know if it's in your kid's Halloween candy.

It was probably another nightshade plant. Eggplant maybe?

Anyone still think the rest of us aren't next?

Armenia.

Eastern Europe.

Biafra.

Now the Christian USA.

On the plus side, I'm really really owned. I will have to cower in my room like the beta male that I am, with a $7 latté and the entire Dashboard Confessional discography.

Google "Poe's Law."

Oh the humanity, what a tragedy!

Anyway, I'm grilling picanha steaks for the Fourth, with Irish Nachos and a nice Napa Cabernet Sauvignon.

This time next year, Ukraine will be "The" Ukraine again. Thousands will be murdered. And in a hundred years, the history books will put the blame squarely on the Incredible Bulk.