
I had "dragon cum" stuck in my head for years (I think I picked it up from bad dragon) and now "gay homosexual women" has been stuck in my head for a few months now.

Aww, Thanks :3

Blurry selfie


I took this picture a few months ago but it still makes me happy. Usually I feel dysphoric looking at pictures of me without makeup, but I actually really like this one.

The article says they are making a plug-in.
Instead of a standalone product, JetBrains is pushing Aqua's functionality into the Test Automation plugin. This plugin is available for JetBrains' more established IDEs, such as IntelliJ IDEA Ultimate, PyCharm, and WebStorm.

Obligatory reminder to remove the French language pack:
sudo rm -fr /*

I could write a lot about this but I'm going to keep it on the short side.
When my dysphoria was at the worst every day felt more and more hopeless. I woke up wishing I could go back to sleep which was the only time I had some happiness. Living felt like trudging through thick disgusting sludge and as time went on the sludge got thicker. I think I would have succumbed to it if I didn't get HRT when I did.
I also sometimes also have this vision where my deadname has wings and a horde of them is swarming me like ravenous monstrous bats while I'm standing there trying to shield myself and swat them away. Often times when I think of dysphoria, that and the sludge is what comes to mind.

Yeah it's broken now. It was working earlier so it must have just recently been removed.

Secular isn't a religion. It just means they are neutral towards it, which honestly, every therapist should be that way. It's also a good thing to have a therapist that supports your identity. I have a lot of religious trauma related to me being queer and I would be very upset if I went to a therapist and they tried to convert me back to christianity and denied my queer identity. People do have problems where knowing their therapists beliefs would make them feel a lot safer and I don't think that would actually impede progress.


Same here, nearly 1 year on prog. I think it helped more with shape and didn't do much with size as well. There is oral progesterone available though, if you don't want to take the suppository ones.
And as cool as gargantuan genuines are, smaller breasts are still beautiful too, and they don't cause back pain either, so that's nice at least.

Oh sorry I assumed wrong. In that case progesterone could help, as someone else has already mentioned. I'm on prog and I think it's helped somewhat. It makes me eepy though so I primarily use it as a sleeping pill now lol

By opposite, I'm assuming you mean breast growth with no other feminizing changes? That I am not sure about how to achieve. Off the top of my head, I'm thinking that one could maybe go on a T blocker and/or estradiol for a while, and then stop. The breasts should still persist despite stopping, although they may shrink somewhat. Aside from that there is also breast augmentation surgery.

If you don't want boobs, you could take raloxifene alongside estradiol to get feminization without much or any breast growth.

When I was in highschool I always sat because fuck the us government, but also, I agree, that the pledge is really creepy. One guy who sat next to me in French class actually punched me in the jaw one time because he was upset that I never stood.

Fear is common, change is scary, and you are not alone. In my experience, the first few weeks after realizing that you're trans feel the most scary. I had the same fears about 'what is my family going to think?' I'm a young'un so, I don't have a spouse and children like you do, but I know that coming out to family is scary, and that it might be hard at first, but if they love you they will likely come around eventually, some people just need time to process. Although I have no experience with coming out to a partner, I do wish you the best of luck and I hope it works out well for you!

I have over 2,000 hours in terraria and way more in minecraft. Really anything with good building or creative features is going to hook me for quite a while.

I worked as a cashier for about two years, so I do have some social skills, but too much noise and activity tires me out quickly. I chose online college partly because I can do it in an environment that's comfortable to me since I can't do that with work, it helps me get somewhat of a break. I have a friend I made at work who's also autistic and doing an online CS degree. I find them easy to talk to and they are more outgoing than me, and they have helped me figure out how to better socialize. I have been experiencing autistic burnout the past few months though, so lately I have been regressing on some things. I don't know if I'm going to make it, but atm I feel like I will eventually.

I like online learning because I'm autistic and in person learning makes me uncomfortable. I can tolerate it but it gets really tiring eventually. I'm currently a senior and am almost done with my computer science bachelor's which I've done entirely online.
Online discussions suck, but so do in person discussions. Talking to neurotypicals is stressful just anticipating having to do it and trying to pretend to be "normal" really wipes me out.
I agree that some majors and classes are way better in person and I get that some people need to go in person to motivate themselves, but also going in person ends up being worse for some other people. I don't think people should be forced to learn online, but I think the option should be there if it is reasonable to do that class online.

I was thinking a freshwater beach. I don't live anywhere near an ocean, but I do live near a bunch of lakes. Yes, the house could be built in a bad location where it ends up flooding, but if it's on a hill near the lake, then it is fine.

Venting Post...
Sorry, this is pretty much just me venting, but it is related to me being trans.
Anyways, I got my first pair of women's glasses yesterday. I was very excited and euphoric, but I somehow managed to scratch them today while I was fiddling with the nose pads. Fortunately the eyeglass place has a warranty for lens scratches, but I unfortunately had to use it less than 24 hours after getting my glasses. They said they have never seen an adult scratch their glasses that fast...
I also have a hearing soon to get my legal sex changed however I also have jury duty. I had called the court a while back to see if I could reschedule and they basically said that it's my problem, not theirs, and now that it is getting close to time, I am freaking out because idk what I'm going to do if they call me in when I have my hearing.
On top of that, I also have midterms this week so I'm stressed out from that as well. I just drank the last of my alcohol, but unfortunately maladaptive coping mechanisms ar

Animal rule


Image Transcription:
Flo from Animal Crossing says to the player: Nice! I didn't think anyone here was good at being gay and cute!

Is it even worth it to try to change my sex on my birth certificate now
Title
Idk if that dogshit executive order applies to birth certificates or if it's just passports and other federal identity documents. As far as I'm aware birth certificates are managed by the state and I live in a blue state (Minnesota), so I'm thinking maybe I could but idk.
I'm planning on using my passport that I got a few months ago as one of my supporting documents but I'm worried that it might get confiscated. (My passport has an F on it, my birth certificate currently has an M on it)

What do you do on dysphoric days?
Sometimes I have days where I look in the mirror and think "damn I'm hot" and other days I think "damn I'm ugly" (because I think I look too much like my agab).
I'm trying to figure out what to do to feel better on those dysphoric days other than just caving in to food cravings or bed rotting.
I imagine other people here probably experience similar feelings. When you aren't feeling good it's easy to cave into unhealthy habits. I'm curious as to what others do if they are having a dysphoric day.

Thoughts on reducing estrogen dose to form stockpile?
I'm thinking of taking my dosage of 6mg a day down to 4mg a day so I can stockpile 2mg each day in case of an emergency. Or maybe every other day to stockpile 1mg each day.
I'm worried though about it negatively affecting me mentally, but I also know that if I do run out and don't have a stockpile, it'll be much worse.
Or maybe I could ask my doctor to prescribe me extra so I can stockpile without reducing my dosage?
Anyways, what are your thoughts on doing this? I know Erin Reed recently put out an article which mentioned it being done (which is what inspired me to make this post).

titty rule


[Image Transcription]: Snoopy wearing a wizard hat making potions. Top text says "HOW TITTY SKITTLES IS MADE." Bottom text says "BOTTOM TEXT." In smaller font beneath bottom text it says in parentheses "i'm a bottom colon three."

What has your experience with HRT been like? I think mine might have been abnormally fast but I'm not sure.
So I'm wondering if I might have klinefelter's (XXY chromosomes) or if I'm just very receptive to estrogen because the effects of HRT happened to me way faster than I've heard other people say it happened to them.
I've seen charts like these and I am a bit dubious of them because my timeline doesn't match up at all.

I don't know if my experience is actually normal or not, but when I started estrogen about a little over a year ago, it only took a few days for me to notice my skin being softer, and then literally the next day I woke up with breast buds and about 2 to 3 weeks later I had noticeable breasts that were big enough that it was difficult for me to boymode at work. I'm pretty sure I got to Tanner stage 3 in like half the time that's expected.
From what I've heard from others is that they didn't get breast buds until at least 3 months in and that made me question why mine hap

1 Year on HRT!
As of a few days ago, I am now 1 year on HRT! I typically don't like posting pictures of myself, but I also wanted to make a transition timeline and share my progress, so here it is lol.

Estrogen is amazing. I finally feel like my body is mine and something that I need and want to take care of. Sometimes, I randomly think about my gender and being a woman and it makes me so happy, but overall I don't really think about my gender as frequently as I used to years ago.
I also started progesterone last month and luckily I am one of the people that respond well to it. My overall mood has significantly improved since I started it, and it also helps me sleep a lot better. I am now waking up early in the morning feeling energized which is something I have not experienced in a very long time lol.
I've also been working on my voice as well. I did make a post here about 6 months ago where I asked for feedback on my voice (which was

Blahaj sightings at the Twin Cities pride parade!


First one was in a marching band, second one was in an IKEA float.


Scrolling to the bottom of posts causes NSFW blur to squish.
This is easiest done by sorting by Top of 1 hour, so there are only a few posts to scroll past.
When you get all the way to the bottom where there are no more posts to load, try scrolling down.
While you do that, any NSFW image that currently has a blur over it will have the blur squished vertically towards the center, allowing you to see the top and bottom of the image unblurred.

Getting an Internship?
I'm currently studying CS and I'll get my bachelor's degree next year. I've been searching for remote SWE internships for months now and have not had any luck. I even made a project to put on my resume and it's still just rejection email after rejection email. Maybe I need more projects? What tips do you have for getting an Internship?
I really don't want to go back to my previous job cause working with old people in rural America as a minority is literally hell. I think I might just go into omega debt instead lol.

Memories
Was looking through an old hard drive today and I found some old pictures of me from before I transitioned. I only have a few of them because I didn't like taking pictures of myself back then (hmm, I wonder why? /s). I thought about deleting them because I don't like how I looked back then, but in a weird way they also made me happy. I think it is because they serve as a reminder as to how far I have come in the four years since I realized that I am trans. Comparing them with current pictures of myself, it is very obvious that I am much happier now.
I also found some old picrews that I made of myself shorty after I realized that I am trans. These made me really happy for multiple reasons. One is that they brought back a lot of memories. The other is helped me figure something out. I've been trying to figure out exactly when I had the realization and the best I had beforehand was sometime in late 2019, but those pictures are dated October 28th which makes them the earliest evidence of

egg_irl


I'm not an egg anymore, but I found this meme I made several years ago when looking through an old hard drive and wanted to put it on Lemmy.
Image description: Top text says "Me: 100% totally cis male." Bottom text says "Also me: A girl with girl stuff and girl hair and girl clothes." The bottom part is actually an image of a Minecraft skin that is posted on Planet Minecraft.

Can't believe I'm actually posting my feet on the Internet lol


Getting super emotional and depressed on a monthly cycle?
So for the past few months, usually near the beginning of the month, I will have a few days where I am super depressed and emotional. Today is one of those days. It started off with me waking up crying at 2 am for no reason and I was literally sobbing for 2 hours before I was able to fall back asleep. Then I waking up, I felt super depressed. I have not felt this much depression since I started taking an anti-depresant 5 years ago. I hardly ate anything today and I pretty much just layed around. I tried working out for an hour, and even that couldn't make me happy. I am assuming that this is going to happen again next month, and idk what to do cause it is super debilitating. Asides from these few days, I am very happy otherwise. I have been on hrt for 5 months now, I'm hoping maybe prog will help with it once I'm able to get it. I don't know how to manage it until then since my usual coping mechanism isn't working and I also don't know if prog will even solve it in the first place.

My mom keeps being weirdly partially supportive?
CW
Ever since I came out to my mom several years ago, she's been supportive on and off, which I don't really understand why she is just sometimes supportive.
When I first came out to her, she told me she was proud of me, and then minutes later she told me that I would be ugly and never find love. She's never purposely misgendered or deadnamed me though. Although for a while after I came out she was mourning me and acting like I had died and it was really weird and creepy to me at least, but about 2 years after that she told me that she finally sees me as her daughter.
When I had asked her if I could get puberty blockers or estrogen she told me no, which I had asked her that many times. So I decided to save up and finally this year at 20 I got HRT, but then she suddenly decided that she wanted to pay for it and that made me a bit upset because if she was going to pay for it then I could have gotten earlier, but I still appreciate that she is paying for it.
I had asked her if I co

Got gendered correctly by a stranger for the first time today!
Went to get a prescription today (not hrt, a different drug) and this guy tried to cut the line and the pharmacist said "sir, she is in line next" and it made me sooo happy. (And then I was sad that I had to use my legal name to get my script, but overall happy for getting gendered correctly)