May day celebrations here so we went to see some friends in a park. Kinda nice, kinda cold weather. Good to leave home though and spend time outside.

I feel like the worst wave of burnout is over for now and soon I'll have to start scraping things together. Having experienced this episode for 3rd time within a year I feel that i finally need to face the fact that I can't go on like this and need to start taking my limitations seriously. I went to an autism support group for the first time this week and it was a great experience! Will definitely go again.

The whole week has been quite rough, basically my work gigs were cancelled and all my work-related plans went down the drain after government decided to remove some tax benefits. The whole industry I work at is f*cked right now because of that and even if they decide to cancel the plan the season seems super grim for shops. But I've wanted to change direction for some time now so I guess this is when it happens. Many big things going on at the same time, but positive side is I'll have time for my own projects, and all this being a pretty clear "sign" that it's time to start making changes.

Constant loop. Usually a song I like and then it gets ruined by the repetition. Thanks brain.

Thank you for the insight! Sure sounds like a cool ride!

Haven't heard about them being heat sensitive more than any other pill, but eg. Elvanse capsules start to dissolve if they come in touch with moisture causing them to become fragile, so I'd put a bit of cotton or paper if I were to stash those.

That's a nice bike! How does it ride when comparing to GS500?

I have a '99 GS500 and it's awesome! An all-around bike with character and it's been a great teacher to the world of motorcycles (and fixing them). Surely not the most reliable nor comfortable ride but I kinda like that too.

I'm looking to upgrade my license and get a bigger bike at some point, the UJM's definitely call for me still.

I have Earpeace plugs and the container is hanging from my keyring, the lower compartment holds pills nicely.

Enzymatic reaction XD

I went to a bike shop I worked a bit last year to ask if they need extra hands for a couple days a week, they obviously needed help, but the owner is really slow at making decisions. So I went to buy some filler to fix walls at home, but then I just continued with a table project that's been postponed because of the renovation project instead of doing the walls. And did some maintenance on my bikes.

I quit a customer service job - which I was super excited to get into as it is somewhat new bike-related field - two weeks ago, and got back to fixing bikes. Financially a risky move, but I realized I'm slowly drifting towards burnout. Well, tbh the job wasn't at all as promising or interesting as I originally thought and the pay was shit. I tend to end up in uncontrollable anxiety loops if I feel trapped in a situation and just rationalizing out of it rarely helps, it just leads to burnout if nothing changes. But well, it was a valuable experience and I'm again much more aware of my needs and capabilities. And that I really should stick to the decision to avoid customer service jobs even though I'm fairly good at it.

Next challenge is to tackle the anxiety about uncertainty and feelings of inferiority because I've again quit something that was expected of me. But then again I feel much better now that I again have more physical contact with the world.

Sometimes I feel that having AuDHD is like working with a race horse.

Beta blockers allow more caffeine intake

Cat's definitely a gang leader

Or did they?

manul

That would be the German efficiency, better make use of all the alphabetics and not leave any spares laying around! Also what an engineer-minded way to construct words: build a solid structure with the consonants before adding the filling vowels evenly. But sometimes when the balance is off and you put too much into it, especially in places of heavy stress, you end up with Angstschweiß.

manul

It's been a good day. Renovations at home are progressing a bit, we got some supplies and tools today, hopefully tomorrow we'll actually get to start. Also bicycled to see a friend's kiddo who's growing up real fast! Last time the kid was really shy of us but now we played a lot together and even got hugs! I also had 2 ice creams and a great cup of coffee today! Sun was shining, spring is coming. Things are looking quite positive.

I had a rough couple weeks and it always frightens me how long the bad times will last and how bad it will get, but this week's been good and I feel quite relieved right now.

Hoggo

^ I'm with stupid

manul

I aced the first 3 months at a new job, even got a raise and I was complimented that if everyone was like me the business would be on a whole another level.

...aaand at that point I had learned most of what was new and interesting and now all that's left is routine tasks -- and I'm dying. It got so boring so fast that my brain switched into serious dissociation and depression. I could just sit back and enjoy the easy job and get paid but no. Suddenly it's a struggle to finish just a simple email. Fuck this.

Lucky you, sounds like a chill lifestyle