I appreciate your response. In my depression and miserable pessimism I know that you're right on a theoretical level, in that the means of capitalist destruction are sown within itself, yet it's not easy to experience that comfort when you watch swaths of people get swept away in it's slow dissolution as a byproduct. Yet that is the way it is.

I take breaks from time to time, though I admit that I always end up feeling guilty about it. As if all other comrades are carrying my weight, my solidarity, on their shoulders. It makes me feel like a liberal in a sense, as if I'm pretending these things aren't happening, and if when my very eyes aren't viewing the atrocities that happen in my own world and aren't actively recognizing them, it's as if I'm suppressing the awareness of their plight.

That probably is a far too intricate and self-important of a position, but it's how I've always felt about it, because I've thought that if we don't all feel this way, then solidarity only weakens. Maybe some become numb to it, but then that just makes one try to use empathy and solidarity strategically--as if to balance one's level of pain in order to appropriately use it and not become numb to it all. But that feels morally abusive on some level, yet it seems like something that emerges after a point.

I do feel better just writing it out, though.