(I was getting uncomfortable; I already spelled it out that I was not into this, and my lack of enthusiasm should have been apparent, but she kept going. Rather than bluntly telling her to shut up, I turned on airplane mode for a while and went back to replaying Fallout 2.)
(It was at this point that she unfriended me, but I was still in her server, so we could still talk.)
Me: Please, can’t we handle this through a conversation? You don’t have to unfriend me and hide from me.
Her: You just said you're not trying to reply to meSo whats the point??You'd rather throw this all away just because of a sex-toy
Me: …what? What are you… what? I meant that I wasn’t writing a reply to you at the present moment, not that I wanted to stop talking to you. I was silent for several days because I assumed that you needed more time to calm down.
Her: I want an answer to that original text thenn
Me: Which one?
Her: I don't feel like I was listened to properly
Me: Which text?
Her:
I was just showing you something that makes me really happy :(Idk why it felt like you had to like; i unno be involved or love it or somethingIdk why it felt like I was asking for your interest in that specifically; I know noone else has this fetish xD its not common.
Me: I told you, ‘I’m not into balloons’, and you kept discussing the subject anyway, so I felt like you wanted me to adopt your fetish.
Her: Not like thatI'm not a psycho xDJust wanted you to blow up some balloons for a bad bitch!!!!!!I'm definitely sexy enough for that B)
Me: Well, I don’t really feel like trying any ‘roleplay’ with anybody this week. I’m depressed.
Her: Giiiiirlyou hit me on the suicidal day too so that really had me fucked upI was feeling all types of fucked up and then it just felt like you were shitting on the one thing that brought me happinessjust gotta be more careful about that type of thing
Me: By saying ‘I’m not into this’, I was shitting on it?
Her: Girl no xDNo no no no aw hell noYou did not say JUST that xDYou were, maybe unknowingly; extremely judgey
Me: ‘Uh-huh’ is a rather ambiguous response; I don’t know why you interpreted it in the worst possible way. I was just kind of bored.
Her: Because Uh-huh is like the least "I'm trying to be friendly" thing to say in that situationI'm not even wrong about that I'm just right xD
Me: So, what, do you think that I knew that and was purposely trying to antagonize you? Is that what you are saying?
Her: how am I supposed to know xDDid it feel like that? YesssDid it hurt to feel like that? yesssssDid you dissapear and stop responding so that would be the only thing I could think, without any clearing up of texts and intents, yessssss
Me: I said, ‘I’m not into this’, and I expected you to stop. That’s what my other friends would have done. You said something that I didn’t understand, so I replied ‘I don’t even know what you mean.’ You still kept going on about it, so I said ‘Uh-huh’ to indicate my boredom, and then you said I was making you feel weird, and at that point I was getting really uncomfortable, so I didn’t know what else to do but get off.Should I have just said ‘Please stop’ or ‘You’re making me uncomfortable’ instead?
Her: I mean im justreally annoyed you couldn't find a nicer way to do all thatCause likeWe talk about shit all the time I don't do that to youImagine I started doing thatUghhhhhhhhhSiiiiiiiighOh you like this thing? Siiiiiiiiigh YEaaaaaaaaaah okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayOh a thing I wanna talk about? Omg lets talk about that, but you like a thing? ughhhhhh whateverrrrrr...... SiigggghhhVaguely bad faith but you get my point
Me: Well, I’ve gotten into trouble with others numerous times by talking, so sometimes I try to avoid that by simply not talking… I know that it isn’t always a good strategy, but I don't know any better. That's what I've learned.
Her: And I get that, I been trying to let you like naturally get back to it but it really feels like, you set me off and then just left me to be sad and worriedFrom my perspective; all I was doing was, showing you something that tantalizes Me specifically trying, specifically to show you like, 'Hey heres something you can exploit cutely if you want to get my face red' and from my point of view, you did just like. Ughhhhhh whatever and dissapeared like I was some kind of weirdo
Me: I'm sorry that I made you feel that way; I didn’t know what else to do, but I should have been more explicit.
Her: You shoulda just went with it ;/I woulda done it for you :/
Me: ...what? No, I don’t want you to indulge in my sexual fetishes if they discomfort you.
Her: My friends show me something I dont like, I still make effort and tease them with it xDI also find it hard to believe* that this a discomforting fetish? You just gotta get exposed to shit morethere are way worse fetishes xD
Me: I know, but I can’t force myself to find something sexually arousing.
Her: See thats the wierd partI’m not asking for that xD
Me: So you want me to indulge in this fetish… even if I’m bored and disinterested? What are you trying to say?
Her: Uhhh yeaaaaa, I think it would help you out a lot to cultivate that musclexDSometimes a girls gonna be into something you're not intoYou dont wanna be a bad sport about itNot indulge in the fetish like you're one of them, but like, support someone you care about by being supportive for it :)Like I'm pretty sexy irl, I think you would just shut up and blow a balloon up for me if you saw me xD
(This is something they dont teach in school
Me: I’m just… I’m baffled right now.I don’t need people to be supportive of my kinks or fetishes. If they’re neutral or disinterested, that’s fine; I don’t badger them about my fetishes. I keep them to myself.
Her: I agree but also im way too into the sex and kink scene, thats my nature lmao, understanding and supporting sexuality, so its important in my book lmao
Me: I’m still baffled.So… you don’t want to be friends with people who are uninterested in partaking in your kinks?
Her: I'm uninterested in friends who act mean for no reason
Me: I didn’t know that I was acting mean and at the time I didn’t know what else to do with my discomfort but hide. Haven’t we already been over this?
Her: Yeah just nowI unfriended you before that
Me: Okay. What do you want me to do?
Her: idk why me telling you my fetish made you so uncomfortable
Me: I told you that I was disinterested and you kept going on about it. That made me uncomfortable. People talking at me like I’m invisible. I hate it when people do that.
Her: I genuinely thought we talked about it beforeI dont think you listen to me either honey :( Thats why I kept going
Me: …what? What sense does that make?
Her: Because you always just do and post what you liken I felt like I should have a lil time to talk about something i like
Me: When did I talk about something that disinterested you?
Her: just all the poststheres some topicsI'm not bringing them up because im not trying to make you feel weird about what you like
Me: You pretended to be interested in everything that I was discussing? Is that what you are saying?
Her: theres some of it yeai do keep telling you thoughI like bigger stuffAnd I dont really use real life porn
Me: Why didn’t you tell me earlier?
Her: because you were having a good timeI liked that it made you happy if anything
Me: That’s because I thought that you were having a good time.
Her: i did try to say it acouple times
Me: I noticed, and I quit after that.
Her: all im saying is we look at it a lil differentim like relentlessly sex positive
Me: That’s not the issue.
Her: its not an issue
Me: Look... I’m sorry to say this, but I don’t think that this is going to work out. This doesn’t feel sincere.I’ve been frustrated having this conversation and now I feel like somebody’s been lying to me for weeks.I’m sorry.