

xkcd #3082: Chess Position
It's important to learn the moves that take you into the vortex, but it's best not to study vortex itself too closely. Even grandmasters who have built up a tolerance lose the ability to play for a few hours after studying it.
FYI: As it's getting somewhat tedious to post new xkcd comics here manually (and get comments into my inbox), I am, after saving here, going to ask the operators of rss.ponder.cat to set up a bot to post these comics to a dedicated community. If that is set up, I will stop posting manually here. I suggest people then subscribe there.
xkcd #3081: PhD Timeline
Rümeysa Öztürk was grabbed off the street in my town one month ago.
xkcd #3080: "Tennis Balls"
After initial tests created a series of large holes in the wall of the lab, the higher-power Scanning Tunneling Tennis Ball Microscope project was quickly shut down.
xkcd #3079: Air Fact
'Wow, that must be why you swallow so many of them per year!' 'No, that's spiders. You swallow WAY more ants.'
xkcd #3078: Anchor Bolts
The biggest expense was installing the mantle ducts to keep the carbonate-silicate cycle operating.
xkcd #3077: de Sitter
Our anti-de Sitter club is small at the moment, but I've started corresponding with the conformal field theory people.
What if the sun suddenly went out?
Original static webpage version: https://what-if.xkcd.com/49/
xkcd #3076: The Roads Both Taken
When you worry that you're missing out on something by not making both choices simultaneously by quantum superposition, that's called phomo.
xkcd #3075: Anachronym Challenge
I have to pay with paper money.
xkcd #3074: Push Notifications
NOTIFICATION: Now dismissing a head of the Notification Hydra… NOTIFICATION: Success! You have dismissed a head of the Notification Hydra!
xkcd #3073: Tariffs
[later] I don't get why our pizza slices have such terrible reviews; the geotextile-infused sauce gives the toppings incredible slope stability!
xkcd #3072: Stargazing 4
We haven't actually seen a star fall in since we invented telescopes, but I have a list of ones I'm really hoping are next.
xkcd #3071: Decay Chain
If you have an old phone in a drawer, and you listen very carefully, you can occasionally hear the occasional tap of an emitted SIM card hitting the side of the drawer as the phone transmutes to a lower-end model.
xkcd #3070: Orogeny
Most properties can only boast INDOOR heated floors.
xkcd #3069: Terror Bird
There has long been debate about Big Bird's species, with some experts claiming he was a canary, but recent genetic analysis places him firmly in Cariamiformes.
xkcd #3068: Rock Identification
'Is it worth anything?' 'I dunno, is the answer to that question worth another $5?'
xkcd #3067: SawStart
Unfortunately, SawStart is one-use-only. Once started, the blade cannot be stopped, and must be replaced with a fresh blade while the running one is carefully disposed of.
xkcd #3066: Cosmic Distance Calibration
This is the biggest breakthrough since astronomers noticed that the little crosshairs around red giant stars starting to burn helium are all the same size.
xkcd #3065: Square Units
The biggest I've seen in a published source in the wild is an 80-fold error in a reported distance, which I think came from a series of at least three unit conversions and area/length misinterpretations.