■Lda080 (16A-9)

Misato-chan was absent from school. It wasn’t like I was completely alone,
but it was a bit lonely. Club activities were also kind of lonely, so I left
early. Even though I had the present I went through such trouble to get
on me. I hope Misato-chan comes to school tomorrow.

lain

■Lda079 (16A-3)

But oddly, expensive presents are bad, aren’t they? After all, we’re both
still middle schoolers.

lain

■Lda078 (16A-2)

I went to see Touko-san after school ended because Father requested that
I give a souvenir to her. Touko-san was sick or something, so the
atmosphere was a little unusual. I didn’t open the bag the present was in.
I’m tired…

I wonder what was inside…Maybe cosmetics…Mother also got things like
cosmetics, and an expensive-looking bag. Maybe I’ll wear makeup someday
too…

Makeup on my face won’t look good, though. People like Misato-chan have a
grown-up feeling to them, so it’d definitely good on them, right?

Ah, Father said he still had a souvenir left over, so I can also get
something from him for Misato-chan.

lain

■Lda077 (16A-1)

I wonder what Father was smiling at…I had changed myself, and I wonder if
that made other people change too…

lain

■Lda076 (16A-0)

Father came home. I talked to him about everything. About myself, about my
club activities, about Misato-chan. I kept talking and talking until Mother
said, “Please tell him tomorrow, because your father is very tired,” and I
wonder if my Father had grown tired. But he grinned as he listed to me.

He had bought a stuffed bear for me. It was cute and had big eyes. I
wonder what I should call him…hmm…

lain

■Lda075

I appeared online. Even though I hadn’t done something like that up until
now. Why?

But since I don’t need to go online again, I’ll be sure not to access the
Wired again for a while, since for the time being I wrote an email to Mr.
Rabbit to let him know. Things will go smoothly for my trouble.

It’ll be alright, lain, okay? I won’t be alone again.

lain

■Lda074 (15A-16)

I really don’t need to force myself to smile.

That’s who I am.

lain

■Lda073 (15A-23)

When I went to visit Touko’s place to show her a picture I drew of her,
the security guardsman told me she was away on business. She must be busy,
huh…

Father should be coming home very soon, so I’ve been feeling pretty good
lately. Since I haven’t been seen there in a while, I think I’ll try going
online. Since I haven’t been contacting Mr. Rabbit, I should thank him for
helping me.

When I’m positive, I’m pretty cute.

Heehee.

lain

■Lda072 (15A-9)

Am I overdoing this? I’m not forcing myself, right?

lain

■Lda071 (15A-8)
I wonder if Misato-chan is tough…I’ve been absent but she seems okay…Is
she disappointed in me? I want her all to myself, don’t I? Perhaps she has
friends other than me and I’m just hogging her to myself? She’d probably
hate that…I’m just suspicious…

I’m becoming hated again.

During club activities, together with the upperclassmen, we bought
sketchbooks at the paint supply store. The pastels were really cute, and we
bought rough sketchpads together. When I draw before dinner, Mother
scolds me, though. It seems like it smells alright…I don’t think I hate
smells like that…

I should work hard at my studies and my club activities. FIGHT, lain! Just
kidding!

lain

■Lda070 (15A-15)

In spite of me trying particularly hard not to be absent, I got a headache,
and when that became apparent, I took the day off. When mother left for
work, I was all by myself.

Even though I’m being relatively calm compared to that time in elementary
school, why is this time so much more painful and lonely? I wonder if it’s
because of Misato-chan.

I think I’ll try calling Father. But he might be mad because international
calls are expensive.

lain

■Lda069 (15A-14)

Misato-chan does something very important for me. We’re always together. If
Misato-chan was absent, I’d be very lonely, wouldn’t she? I wish I had at
least one more friend…Would that count as cheating on Misato-chan?

What a selfish way of thinking, huh?

I wonder if Misato-chan would be alright by herself…Tomorrow, if I try to
take a day off, I wonder what Misato-chan would think of me…If did a
test like that, she’d obviously hate me, wouldn’t she?

lain

■Lda068 (15A-7)

Misato-chan told me we should be in a club together. Misato-chan is on a
different level from me when it comes to music, so she said that she didn’t
want to join a music club. The local study group’s members seemed nice, but
somehow they seemed a bit off…I wonder if we should really join the art
club. I used to like art, so I wonder if doing that will go well…

lain

■Lda067 (15A-6)

I went to Touko-san’s place and made a report. We talked about nothing
but Misato-chan. She said, “You’ve become well, huh?” and that made me feel
awkward.

That reminds me, I wonder what club activities Touko-san could have done.
It seems like exercise would be her strong point. She definitely told me that
she was in America, so it might be different there from Japan.

lain

■Lda066 (15A-5)

Today, I looked at lots of different club activities with Misato-chan.
Misato-chan seemed to be best at exercise; however, I’m really not too
great at it, so I wonder if we should look at a cultural club. Misato-chan
has played the violin since around when she was little, so maybe she’s in
contests a lot. How cool!

She also seems to use computers, but I didn’t tell her that I do. I wanted
to keep my Internet activities a secret for some reason. But it’s because I
want to be the me that doesn’t attend to the Internet.

These club activities seem to be all over the place, aren’t they?

lain

■Lda065 (14A-21)

Somehow, I feel like everything will go well. I have a friend now, so it’s
going to be okay. Ah, I wish Father would come home soon!

lain

■Lda064 (14A-20)

I was happy that Mother came to my graduation ceremony. I sighed in relief
when there also weren’t the same kids in my class as in my elementary
school. The homeroom teacher seems nice, and I made a friend, too. But my
seat had been decided by the attendance numbers.

Most of the class seems different from last year. I really couldn’t get along
with them. But there’s one person I seem to get along with, the person
who sits next to me. She’s a quiet person, but I can easily get along with
someone like that.

Misato-chan, I hope we can become friends.

lain

■Lda063 (14A-12)

I’m different from the way I usually am, aren’t I? I’m different.

lain

■Lda062 (14A-11)

When I brushed my teeth, they started bleeding. I wonder if it’s
periodontitis… My teeth used to be healthy…

My mouth is filled with the taste of blood. It’s a tiny bit bitter and I
hate the taste. The blood isn’t stopping, so it’s unlikely I’ll be able to go
to sleep easily. And then, won’t I be anxious about the welcoming ceremony
because of that? I kind of hate this feeling.

lain

■Lda061 (14A-3)

The welcoming ceremony is drawing near. This time will be different for sure.
It’ll be fun, and I’ll be a normal student, and do club activities and things
like that. I hope the same kids aren’t in my class.

Mother talked with Father on the phone. Are they worried about me? I’ll be
alright. They’re relieved, the two of them, I’m sure of it. It’s been a while
since I’ve seen that.

What about my phantom self? Even in spite of that, isn’t there something
wrong with my head? I’m sick, but it doesn’t matter if I’m not.

I want to stop.

lain