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fakenews @hexbear.net SorosFootSoldier [he/him, they/them] @hexbear.net Drunk and high Jordan Peterson makes unscheduled appearance on The Joe Rogan Experience and spends 2 hours ranting about "entitled" kids with cancer.
In the weepy exchange he also bemoaned how his daughter has abandoned him for a "communist" and fought with security who tried to escort him off set.
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fakenews @hexbear.net Paulie [none/use name] @hexbear.net Leaked Pentagon documents report DOD had assembled a team of special forces to the likeness of Marvel’s “Avengers” to promote recruitment and to bolster US military’s image. They were all killed
ANOTHER leaked report coming from the Pentagon has suggested that the Department of Defense tried to recreate their own team of “Avengers” code named “Justice and Peace Force” or JPF for short. The JPF was a team assembled of various members of NATO’s forces mostly made up of US special operations personnel along with some British, Australian, French, and Israeli members. Each member was assigned a nickname which “reflected their essence and humanity.” The document reported that the objective of the JPF was to create a team of “super soldiers” which would encourage peace to whichever country they had invaded. The report alleges that each member would hand out merchandise from t shirts to trading cards advertising each member of the JPF. “Most of the merch was burned in front of the members who woefully watched. redacted (name of one of the JPF) enraged at this act of protest pointed a gun at a child and then shot a full clip into the air.”
The report concludes with the death of the
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fakenews @hexbear.net SorosFootSoldier [he/him, they/them] @hexbear.net 13 killed and 69 injured as balcony collapses in Chicago hotel hosting DNC orgy.
The Blue Moon Inn was host to the annual "Suck Blue" Kamala themed Democrat orgy hosted by dem think tank Actblue.
In attendance was Bill Clinton who at the time of this writing is safe and accounted for.
Authorities are investigating this as a hate crime with possible links to anti-Israel protestors in the area.
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fakenews @hexbear.net SorosFootSoldier [he/him, they/them] @hexbear.net "Breeders For Vance" voters set up mobile fertilization clinics in abandoned malls.
"It's a lot of fun!" said Dan Bongos, mastermind behind "Breeders For Vance", a start-up he's hoping will take him to the moon and also perhaps to the White House.
"I want Mr. Trump and Mr. Vance to see the hard work I've been doing. We've been getting these babes in here, in this old shutdown malls and just f*cking the sit out of them". He's crass but he hopes his crassness will attract the attention of the republican party.
"Bring the whole family!" he continues "your wife will get plowed silly and you'll leave here with a new baby". Batting away the electrical cords hanging out of a gutted ceiling, mold grows along the floorboards.
"The loony left thinks this is all unethical, dangerous, and 'sex trafficking'" he says, "they would too, they hate families just like J.D. said, they're anti-baby".
[at the time of printing this story Mr. Bongos was arrested and charged on 150 counts of sex trafficking and endangering the lives of others].
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fakenews @hexbear.net SorosFootSoldier [he/him, they/them] @hexbear.net Heavily medicated Canadian psychologist Jordan Peterson arrested for breaking into and vandalizing children's cancer hospital.
At one point the popular internet philosopher broke into the children's ward and spray painted "UP YOURS WOKE MORALISTS" on the wall of a mural drawn by leukemia patients.
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fakenews @hexbear.net oscardejarjayes [comrade/them] @hexbear.net Iran finally retaliated! Netanyahu reportedly dead, in apparent assassination!
It looks like they did a true tit-for-tat, blowing up a target with a missile (or a planted explosive). Reporting is early, so it's hard to tell, just like with the Ismael Haniyeh situation.
The photo is from Tel Aviv (and off Facebook, lol), it seems to show the response. Haven't seen any photos of the explosion itself yet, but I'm sure those will be coming out shortly.
It could have also been some other group, but that seems unlikely.
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fakenews @hexbear.net Paulie [none/use name] @hexbear.net PlayStation exclusive ‘Minions: Tropical Island’ was canceled after a developer’s identity was leaked. The dev was a former arms dealer and war criminal who was working under second identity
The developer whose name is Michael Clayton pursued animation at the university of Houston before joining the war in Iraq. His father was also an arms dealer and FBI informant but died in 2003 of heart complications.
The leak itself came from the most recent Sony data breach known as “The Insomniac” hacks, Insomniac are the developers behind many notable Sony titles. Although Insomniac are not the developers of Minions: Tropical Island, a broad range of developers’ data was breached including phone numbers and emails.
And email with the subject matter “We need to talk about Clay” was sent by a now redacted informer, most likely an employee working on the game Minions: Tropical Island. In the email, they discussed how Michael was “oddly” into firearms and during development brainstorming sessions would always bring up the possibility of adding guns to the game. “The closest thing to a gun was a freeze dart but Clay kept animating really sophisticated designs, replicas of real life g
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fakenews @hexbear.net AvocadoVapelung [comrade/them] @hexbear.net Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders named by Kamala Harris as VP pick
More as the situation unfolds.
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fakenews @hexbear.net SorosFootSoldier [he/him, they/them] @hexbear.net China set to launch BonziBuddy '2.0' according to Yin Hejun Minister of Science And Technology.
"AI sucks my butthole" he said in a translated interview to Business Insider, "so we're bringing back that old bastard BonziBuddy, remember him?" He went on, "little shit is going to do all sorts of cool shit like play Minecraft for you or order take out. It's not going to be stupid like it used to be all spyware and shit, nuh-uh, we're doing it way better so be on the lookout for the ape."
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fakenews @hexbear.net SorosFootSoldier [he/him, they/them] @hexbear.net Canadian psychologist and author Jordan Peterson arrested for faxing over 3,000 bomb threats to children's hospital St. Jude.
After a tense 3 hour long stand off from the bathroom of a Burger King, Peterson surrendered peacefully to RCMP officers.
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fakenews @hexbear.net Moss [they/them] @hexbear.net 25 years after the release of hit single "Mambo No.5", Lou Bega finally announces the release of the long-awaited sequel, "Mambo No.6"
Mambo No.6 is expected to include returning characters Angela, Pamela, Sandra, Monica, Erica, Tina, Mary, and Jessica. Sandra and Rita are presumed not to return, due to their characters' deaths in Mambo No.5. Fans have speculated that Mambo No.6 may include Samantha, who was teased in the post-credits scene in No.5.