From the same guy who brought us spurious correlations, a fun way to show that correlation is not causation via graphs of correlations between very different things that do not cause each other.

I did attach an image but because of a Lemmy/Mbin issue I don't think I can have actual alt text, so here is the alt text.

A website, whose title is "spurious scholar", with the subtitle "Because if p 0.05, why not publish?"

Step 1: Gather a bunch of data.

Step 2: Dredge that data to find random correlations between variables.

Step 3: Calculate the correlation coefficient, confidence interval, and p-value to see if the connection is statistically significant.

Step 4: If it is, have a large languag

A diagram. Its caption says "Figure 1: Get me off your fucking mailing list." and the diagram itself is a simple flowchart consisting of the nodes "Get" "me" "off" "Your" "Fucking" "Mail" "ing" and "List".

Link to Get me off Your Fucking Mailing List (2005) by David Mazières and Eddie Kohler, originally accepted for publication by the predatory International Journal of Advanced Computer Technology. Proof of acceptance and "peer review" here

Transcription:

Termination of intractable hiccups with digital rectal massage. By M. Odeh, MD; H. Bassan; and A. Oliven. Published February 1990 in the Journal of Internal Medicine.

Abstract. A 60-year-old man with acute pancreatitis developed persistent hiccups after insertion of a nasogastric tube. Removal of the latter did not terminate the hiccups which had also been treated with different drugs, and several manoeuvres were attempted, but with no success. Digital rectal massage was then performed resulting in abrupt cessation of the hiccups. Recurrence of the hiccups occurred several hours later, and again, they were terminated immediately with digital rectal massage. No other recurrences were observed. This is the second reported case associating cessation of intractable hiccups with digital rectal massage. We suggest that this manoeuvre should be considered in cases of intractable hiccups before proce

Mercifully, the paper was retracted.

https://jabde.com/2024/10/31/would-chad-love-me-as-a-worm/

Transcript:

Ever since I saw the trend on TikTok, I had to know if my boyfriend Chad would still love me if I were a worm. After sampling Chad by directly asking him on camera at least 25 times for statistical significance, ANOVA analysis revealed that he would indeed still love me if I were a worm. Unfortunately, previous studies regarding direct sampling of questions of romantic commitment, though proving similarly statistically significant, have not withheld independent validation tests. This replication crisis has revealed a worrying uncertainty. If this study were validated, it would likely show that Chad might not love me if I were a worm! It is impossible to validate the previous study as I am not able to turn into a worm. In this paper, the worm love question will be validated indirectly by exhibiting worm like behavior, appearance, and sexual practices to measure Chad’s response and therefore his true commitment to

Transcript (by @[email protected])

1.1 Introduction: Thermodynamics and Statistical Mechanics of the Perfect Gas. Ludwig Boltzmann, who spent much of his life studying statistical mechanics, died in 1906, by his own hand. Paul Ehrenfest, carrying on the work, died similarly in 1933. Now it is our turn to study statistical mechanics.

Source

Link to full paper: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2997957/

Transcript: "The zip and bass sounds were only produced by a competing male against a mating pair or when there was male competition for a receptive (recently moulted) female (Fig. 8). Specifically, competing male crabs would alternate between producing zip trains and bass trains when exposed to a receptive female. The bass train followed after a zip train 82% of the time. In five out of the seven mating trials, males engaged in fights with other male crabs in the tank, and in two of these trials, females were also injured."

Source: Sound production and associated behaviours in the New Zealand paddle crab Ovalipes catharus