For the DNS provider I recommend https://desec.io/. It's a nonprofit running worldwide DNS servers, supports DNSSEC, and has a plugin for Lego. If your registrar supports DNSSEC as well, I'd recommend enabling it to protect from DNS forgery.
For the DDoS protection I don't have a recommendation as they're all "just another SaaS", but maybe you could limit many more selfhosted things behind auth as to not expose more surface to potential scrapers.
There are many ways to do this and you got the right gist, but my recommendation:
Here's a guide that helped me with such a setup: https://theorangeone.net/posts/wireguard-haproxy-gateway/
Wireguard only need one peer to open a silent UDP port, so use the VPS' IP and no need to portforward your homeserver. There are other more convenient solutions like Tailscale or Pangolin, but being Wireguard-based they all follow the same principle. Lastly this keeps your certs locally for TLS all the way through