Thank you this answers my question!
TLDR basically the size and frequency of data being sent to and from a website acts like a digital fingerprint even if ISPs can't see what's in those data packets. Looks like there's an easy fix by having VPNs add random background noise data.
Yeah I didn't know it at the time but my childhood sucked and pretty much my entire adulthood has been happier.
I do miss the naivete about being a young dumb adult and living in the moment without a thought about my future. Life hasn't gotten worse since then. It's arguably gotten better. I just miss that specific kind of fun.