I just finished watching The Glass Castle... sort of relatable... but I find it a bit difficult to relate to a different ethnicity/culture that I didn't grow up in...

I mean it's about a hillbilly white American family...

Yea idk how white families are like so... feels a bit "foreign" to me as an ethnic Chinese immigrant to the US.

My parents are rural, but I've lived in cities for the most part, so that's one big difference from the movie.

Light spoilers from the movie:

The biggest differences from the movie and my own family is that, its the father being the shitty parent while my family is sort of reversed, its my mother being that parent... and instead of alcoholism is a (presumed) undiagnosed bipolar disorder...

I don't remember actually being starved but I was threatened with "you are misbehaving so you don't get to eat tonight" then I just cry in my room...

I mean I probably would've get fed if I actually asked, but its embarassing and hurts my ego so I just refuse to eat anyways... then my mom is like condecensingly, "c'mon you misbehaving child, eat... even though you're useless and don't deserve to eat"... so sometimes I'd just eat random snacks or like fry eggs in the middle of the night and then mom comes downstairs and stare at me judgingly and then either say "useless shit" with a scary glare, or depending on which stage of bipolar she's in, she could act like a victim like "I love you and sacrafice so much for you, do you want to make me abandon you" like those words just trigger me...

I don't wanna feel abandoned...

No mama pls, don't abandon me is what my brain instictively though of

I felt so scared.

She was scary.

What happened to the mom that cuddled me just days or even hours before?

This love/hate cycle fucked with me a lot.

The Glass Castle also delt with very serious shit like... the grandma character attempting to molest her grandson (aka: the brother of Jennette Walls (the main focus of the story)). Luckily, I don't have any memories of such sexual abuse... at least I don't think so... I mean it could be a repressed memory somewhere in my brain, but idk... I hope that's not the reason why I'm feeling so anxious all the time...

But yea the BIGGEST difference is... in the movie, the kids banded together... whereas my older brother is so toxic I'd need my also toxic mother to protect me from my older brother's abuse... (he zip-tied me when I was like 5 or 6 years old)

Then just when you think you feel safe, mom does bipolar again...

Mental illness is so stigmitized in China, where we came from, so I doubt she'd ever get treated for that... presumed bipolar disorder.

I want my own "The Glass Castle" movie someday... probably gonna get my ass sued by family lol.